Here is what a member of the family wrote about our method of working!
“Thanks to you and Elaine I am now a very relieved Grandfather!
On reflection now, if it had not been down to Elaine’s observations during her social work on recognising that my son was a victim of Domestic Violence and requesting your support as a Domestic Violence Consultant, our Grandchildren could have ended up being in a far darker place. I am indebted to both of you for ensuring my grandchildren are now safe from harm!
Domestic Violence is now a very troubling area in our society, my genuine hope is that Elaine will carry on through with her undoubted skills in evaluating situations that may not be all that apparent at the time to the untrained eye. This skill saved my 4 grandchildren!
Regards and best wishes from a very grateful Grandfather!”
As a 45 -year-old father of 3 boys and having called the Police 4 times in the past 7 years I had given up trying to prove my wife was alienating the children and causing the arguments. Thanks to Alison’s advice and support, my Social Worker now realises that I am the victim and not the perpetrator and my wife has been issued with a non-molestation order. Nobody can imagine what it’s like to be accused of putting your children at risk when you are trying to protect them. Alison has this great tool she uses and it’s as if she knew my wife already but had never met her. We never actually met as I live in Middlesbrough but we did most of our sessions through skype and I kept telling her my children are being harmed by their mum. I was shocked that she instantly knew what I was talking about and she even told me some of the things my children would be doing which reassured me I was not losing my mind. I think that although some Police Officers have training in Coercive Control, it’s only the tip of the iceberg. The support I have been given is exceptional and if Social Workers understood this type of abuse children would be much safer.
In 2018 I visited my doctor as I thought I was going mad and was prescribed antidepressants having told him I was having relationship issues. After attempting counselling and wondering why things weren’t changing, I was given Alison’s details and she confirmed I was a victim of Coercive Control. With her support and advice, she guided me through the Court process to safeguard my children and to take back control of my life. I feel it is so very important for professionals to understand how coercive control affects the victims. I personally know someone with a small baby who has been suicidal due to manipulation and gaslighting from her ex and I have been able to advise her and enlisted Alison to support her, she now has her eyes wide open and won’t let him control her thoughts and emotions anymore and her baby daughter is now able to bond with her mum again.
Without Alison’s involvement, Social Care would have placed my children with their father as I would never have been able to convince professionals that he was a risk to the girls. He was very convincing and made the Social Worker think I had mental health problems but due to Alison’s knowledge of Coercive Control, she exposed his behaviour to the Social Worker and helped me to protect my 2 daughters. When I initially spoke to the GP about my concerns, I was horrified they signposted me to Healthy Minds indicating I had mental health problems and I just felt nobody understood what I was going through. If my GP had been trained in this area. I might have got help earlier and not spent so many years going around in circles.
Alison has turned my legal case around and I’m no longer a nervous wreck and my children are now safe. Her knowledge of narcissistic personality disorder and the techniques to manage their behaviour at their worst is life-changing for victims and all professionals need to be trained as these behaviours are placing children at risk. I can now live my life without fear and I am making huge progress due to the support and advice Alison has given me. Her approach and tools would support all professionals to recognise children living in households where narcissism is present.